What's on your ''happiness list''?
One warm afternoon, as I was sitting on the sandy shores of Morro Bay beach watching tides come in and out, I thought about the oft-repeated advice: do what makes you happy.
It was the tail end of December and I would soon be welcoming the new year. Perfect time and location for some introspection. What is happiness? More importantly, what is MY happiness?
Many researchers and philosophers have tried to come up with a definition for happiness.
- It is having a surplus of positive feelings throughout your life.
- It is filling your life with meaning.
- It is sampling a variety of diverse experiences.
- It is fitting nicely into the jigsaw puzzle of your family and community.
Scour the bookshelves of your local library, and you will find a plethora of books dedicated to this topic. It is clear that happiness is important to us humans. What is not clear is – what is it, how do you get it and how do you keep it.
For one thing, happiness is not a feeling of high. Our biology is not wired for a high feeling to last. The setpoint of our emotional state had to be in the center for us to go in search of high feelings that prolonged life. A constantly high emotional state meant we wouldn't seek out the pleasures of life vital for our continued existence.
Everyone's center is different, of course - some people are naturally more buoyant than others - but our individual highs cannot be permanent. Eating delightful foods, finding yourselves valued or admired may light up the pleasure centers of your brain, but this feeling won’t last.
The pursuit of happiness then is a pursuit of your center , the place where you feel a sense of well-being and peace. Finding your happiness is finding this center.
That December day, work and life worries far away from my mind, my emotions were at their setpoint for well-being. I took a moment to reflect on what this center felt like. This was the emotional state I wanted to sustain. Staying happy, I realized, is the act of noticing when my emotional state dips below this center and actively moving it back up . What does that entail?
A tiny plover tiptoed along the shore. I took out my journal and scribbled down a list - a list of actions that can bring back my emotional state to my setpoint. My very own “happiness list”. Here are some items from it…
- Setting myself a tough goal and accomplishing it
- Gaining new insights from a good book
- Sitting quietly with my thoughts and feeling my breath
- Writing in my journal. Writing, in general
- Listening to music in complete darkness
Next time I find myself unhappy, these actions, I know, can bring me back to my center.
Everyone needs to know what this list is for themselves. Are you ready to write yours?