3 Lessons From My Dad

Jun 16, 2019

One of my earliest memories is of my dad holding me in his arms, his face unshaven and grimy, as we stood darkly in the foyer of our house, waiting for my mother's body to be cleaned and dressed for her funeral. My dad had just lost his wife. He was 37 or so and she was the love of his life. Her death was unexpected and he was left with two little kids to care for.

​Dad remained unmarried after mom died. He had to make a number of tough decisions regarding me and my brother. Not all of them were perfect and many of them didn't result in the best outcomes. But still he made them and life as a single dad couldn't have been easy. My dad became my first and biggest role model. I fashioned a lot of my own personality after his.

A distance of 8000+ miles separates us today. As I think of my dad on this Father's day, I think of the lessons I learned from him. The lessons I carry within me every day. Here are three of them.


Learning is invaluable to bettering yourself. You cannot put a price on education. Growing up, we were not affluent. We used to live in cramped, dusty apartments and spent money with great care. I remember how grandma used to write out lists of monthly expenses to be paid by my dad. Milk, vegetables, groceries, tuition, gas, tailoring and so on. Every single item on the list was scrutinized and everything needed to be justified. Everything except anything do with my or my brother's education. Dad was liberal in spending for our books, notebooks, erasers, pencils, and binders. If I needed to learn something, I just had to ask. It didn't matter how much it cost. Dad would find the money for it. Today I have a deep love for learning, and like him, I believe strongly that there are few things as valuable as education.


Go after what you want with courage. Do not shut down an option for the wrong reasons. Dad impressed on us the importance of not giving up on any solution to a problem without due diligence applied to it. I remember times when I would be ready to shut an option down because it involved working up the courage to ask someone something, or I lacked the confidence in seeing it through. What is the worst that could happen if you pursue it, he would ask. You ask for something and someone might say no. You try something and it might not succeed. So what? Just brush it off, and move on to the next option. He wanted me to not fear rejection or failure. 

Set your sights high. Dad came from humble beginnings. His family had lost most of what they had early on. He started in State Bank of India as a bank teller, and with steadfast work, he rose to a very high position in the bank. Dad taught us that one should should always aim high in life. Not just be a good student, but be a brilliant student. Not just be an engineer, but be an astonishingly good engineer. Not just be a good human, but be one of the most productive and valuable humans. And once you reach that point of excellence that makes you happy, don't stop. Strive to become even better.​ 

My father is not a perfect man. Far from it. We mercilessly rib each other about our imperfections, and that is actually the fun part of our relationship. But I am fortunate to call him my dad.

Happy Father's day to all the AMAZING fathers like my own!