Afloat on a Full Sea
Sep 11, 2018
Dear little nephew,
I did not think this day would arrive so quickly. When I laid eyes on you for the first time, you were a bundle -- squirming and smiling your toothless smile. What a joy you had been to just watch!
Today, little nephew, you are graduating from high school. You are a capable young man, with skills to face this world independently.
As you walk up to the stage to get your diploma, looking all shiny in your black robe, I am hooting and hollering, brimming with pride. At the same time, I think – what can I tell you that can help you in your future? What are the top 3 things I'd love for you to keep in mind?
#1: Do not let fear of rejection or failure stop your hustle.
Let me tell you “The Tale of Two Leaders”.
Early in my career, a new manager had just taken over my team. He was a brash, alpha kinda leader. He was changing the structure of the team, and we had just learnt about his plans.
I had worked in the team for a few years, so I felt I had some ideas that I could share with him. I wrote to him, outlining all the things we should take into account during the change. It took courage for me to send this email. I was just a junior developer, remember, and I didn’t know this man.
He wrote me back a single line reply: “Fix your bugs”.
The reply was meant to put me in my place. It was a clear signal that I had walked into territory where I was not welcome. It stung, but I brushed it aside and moved on. But the thing is: I didn't suffer any grave consequences because of my bold yet failed attempt to influence him.
Now fast forward a few years. Lo and behold, there was yet another change in the team. I once again wrote to one of the key decision-makers about my vision and ideas. This time, though, this leader wanted to talk further. We talked and then we met and then I wrote to him again. I now had a voice in the process, thanks to that email that I had the courage to send.
Sure enough, this man was a much better leader – a listening and empathetic kind. But you never know who/what you are dealing without trying.
My advice, dear nephew, is to not let fear of rejection or failure come in the way of your hustle. Think: what’s the worst that can happen? If it’s just a potential bruise to your ego, forge on ahead. Rejection can sting, but you can move past it. On the other hand, if you succeed in achieving your goal, it can give you great happiness and success.
#2: Make learning your superpower
Consider this. There is a woman -- let’s call her Alice -- who graduated summa cum laude from an Ivy league college. She aced every single subject she studied. She was a top pick in every big company she interviewed at. She landed her dream job. At her job, she was confident in herself but she stopped learning.
There is another woman – let’s call her Jess – who had an average GPA from an average college. She failed a few interviews, but she landed a job she was proud of. She immediately started applying herself to the job, and kept up her learning. She learned from her job. She learned from the people around her. She learned hard skills AND soft skills.
Who do you think will be more successful?
Ok, that was an obvious and corny question, I agree. I can see you roll your eyes. 😊
But you get my point. Learning is a superpower. Read a lot. Try to understand what makes the people you admire so great, and learn from that. Learn from your mistakes and your successes. If there is one thing that can make you EXCELLENT, it is going to be your ability to keep learning.
#3: Aspire to make a difference
I did not think this day would arrive so quickly. When I laid eyes on you for the first time, you were a bundle -- squirming and smiling your toothless smile. What a joy you had been to just watch!
Today, little nephew, you are graduating from high school. You are a capable young man, with skills to face this world independently.
As you walk up to the stage to get your diploma, looking all shiny in your black robe, I am hooting and hollering, brimming with pride. At the same time, I think – what can I tell you that can help you in your future? What are the top 3 things I'd love for you to keep in mind?
#1: Do not let fear of rejection or failure stop your hustle.
Let me tell you “The Tale of Two Leaders”.
Early in my career, a new manager had just taken over my team. He was a brash, alpha kinda leader. He was changing the structure of the team, and we had just learnt about his plans.
I had worked in the team for a few years, so I felt I had some ideas that I could share with him. I wrote to him, outlining all the things we should take into account during the change. It took courage for me to send this email. I was just a junior developer, remember, and I didn’t know this man.
He wrote me back a single line reply: “Fix your bugs”.
The reply was meant to put me in my place. It was a clear signal that I had walked into territory where I was not welcome. It stung, but I brushed it aside and moved on. But the thing is: I didn't suffer any grave consequences because of my bold yet failed attempt to influence him.
Now fast forward a few years. Lo and behold, there was yet another change in the team. I once again wrote to one of the key decision-makers about my vision and ideas. This time, though, this leader wanted to talk further. We talked and then we met and then I wrote to him again. I now had a voice in the process, thanks to that email that I had the courage to send.
Sure enough, this man was a much better leader – a listening and empathetic kind. But you never know who/what you are dealing without trying.
My advice, dear nephew, is to not let fear of rejection or failure come in the way of your hustle. Think: what’s the worst that can happen? If it’s just a potential bruise to your ego, forge on ahead. Rejection can sting, but you can move past it. On the other hand, if you succeed in achieving your goal, it can give you great happiness and success.
#2: Make learning your superpower
Consider this. There is a woman -- let’s call her Alice -- who graduated summa cum laude from an Ivy league college. She aced every single subject she studied. She was a top pick in every big company she interviewed at. She landed her dream job. At her job, she was confident in herself but she stopped learning.
There is another woman – let’s call her Jess – who had an average GPA from an average college. She failed a few interviews, but she landed a job she was proud of. She immediately started applying herself to the job, and kept up her learning. She learned from her job. She learned from the people around her. She learned hard skills AND soft skills.
Who do you think will be more successful?
Ok, that was an obvious and corny question, I agree. I can see you roll your eyes. 😊
But you get my point. Learning is a superpower. Read a lot. Try to understand what makes the people you admire so great, and learn from that. Learn from your mistakes and your successes. If there is one thing that can make you EXCELLENT, it is going to be your ability to keep learning.
#3: Aspire to make a difference
When I first met Damilola Samuel, I didn’t think I would connect so deeply with him. He is a Nigerian
businessman, and he sat next to me in a room filled with noise – of the AC, of people around us, of the Lagosian
traffic outside. He told me of a young girl Rachel from a farming family in rural Nigeria. She was at the verge
of dropping out of school because she could not get sanitary pads and had to keep missing classes. Damilola
started a business to help young girls like Rachel stay in school. I was there in Lagos, helping him start up
his business.
Damilola’s work makes a difference in the world. My work mentoring entrepreneurs like Damilola, therefore, makes a difference.
Every time I can put my fingers on the value I bring with my skills, I feel fulfilled. My day job now is to help IT professionals run their businesses smoothly and efficiently. I think of the human being running my software and how it saves him time to enjoy with his family. Of how my software can help him shine at his work.
Money is important, especially as you start building wealth. But money’s value will diminish as you gain more of it. What will give you joy, and what will make the world a better place, is an aspiration to make a positive impact to the humans around you.
As you leave your nest now, think of the lives you can touch with your skills. You need to make money for yourself, yes, but aim higher than that. Aim to make a difference.
As the great bard said, we are all afloat on such a full sea that is life. Make generous use of the currents and have a happy life. I love you, young man, and wish you all the joyful things this world has to offer!
<3,
Your aunt.
Damilola’s work makes a difference in the world. My work mentoring entrepreneurs like Damilola, therefore, makes a difference.
Every time I can put my fingers on the value I bring with my skills, I feel fulfilled. My day job now is to help IT professionals run their businesses smoothly and efficiently. I think of the human being running my software and how it saves him time to enjoy with his family. Of how my software can help him shine at his work.
Money is important, especially as you start building wealth. But money’s value will diminish as you gain more of it. What will give you joy, and what will make the world a better place, is an aspiration to make a positive impact to the humans around you.
As you leave your nest now, think of the lives you can touch with your skills. You need to make money for yourself, yes, but aim higher than that. Aim to make a difference.
As the great bard said, we are all afloat on such a full sea that is life. Make generous use of the currents and have a happy life. I love you, young man, and wish you all the joyful things this world has to offer!
<3,
Your aunt.